stardate 86245.46

Personal log.
Captain, USS Osler.

“I am a mystery to myself.”

These words were spoken by Angelina Grimké. In the last few days they’ve come into my mind on more than one occasion.

We recently completed our joint operation in the Gamma Orionis sector. Things went well and we completed the assignment with no casualties or major injuries.

My crew performed admirably and we supported the Klingon ships, allowing them to successfully prevent an incursion into the sector.

I couldn’t do it.

I had any number of opportunities to ensure that the qul SuvwI’ suffered damage, or was destroyed. A moment’s delay in an order. A slight miscalculation in positioning. A second’s hesitation in firing weapons.

But I could not do it.

I could feel the weight of my wife and son on me. I could feel them watching over me. But I could also feel the weight of my duty and the weight of my command.

I could not do it.

And so I completed my mission. I did as I was ordered. I protected my enemies – the ones who took my family from me.

And still I feel the weight of their presence with me. The weight of their lives and deaths.

I only wonder if it was weakness that stayed my hand, or was it strength?

The more I move through life it seems there are fewer and fewer answers and more questions.

stardate 86029.96

Personal log.
Captain, USS Osler.

IKS qul SuvwI'.

Captain Ven’Qa.

These names have been echoing through my mind for second after second, minute after minute for the past four days. As part of our orders from Starfleet Command, it was mentioned in passing that due to the threat of a Borg incursion, the Empire and the Federation are performing a few small joint operations in the Gamma Orionis sector. A number of ships have been paired with some Klingon vessels for these cooperative exercises to keep the Borg out of the sector and the Osler has been assigned to provide medical and ECM support to Task Force Alpha One.

Perhaps as a show of attempted cooperation with our Klingon “friends” the Task Force consists of three Klingon ships, and two Federation. The Klingon ships include a carrier – Vo’quv class –  and two birds of prey. The Federation contingent includes the Osler, and the USS Saratoga, a Sovereign-class ship. The Klingons are expected to do the heavy lifting in terms of the combat, while the Saratoga and Osler will act in a support role.

This news in itself is nothing particular earthshattering. I’ve been a part of a number of discussions about how to ease diplomatic tensions with the Klingons and ways to go about building bridges. Joint military efforts are an easy way to gain some favour and trust with the High Council, and the Klingon populace in general, particularly given how hard the Borg incursions are hitting many Klingon colonies.

What caught my attention was the mission briefing and intel we received outlining our allies. The Klingons make no secret of their military victories, even when those victories are against Federation targets and the personnel reports we received make it clear that they take great pride in all of their military actions against Starfleet. I can’t begrudge them that. They are a warrior race and that is there way.

What really caught my eye was the designation of the IKS qul SuvwI', one of the birds of prey we would be escorting on this mission. Because the Osler was going to be providing ECM support to the other vessels, we received very detailed information on the Klingon ships’ shield harmonics and modulation (this would allow us to better support the other ships, and to potentially beam casualties through shields in an emergency situation).

The qul SuvwI' had something particular about it – a non-Klingon shield design. Klingon ships generally employ a hybrid of Romulan, Klingon and Gorn shield technologies that work in such a way as to minimize their power requirements during cloak. The qul SuvwI' was different. It employed an Orion type design that utilized tachyon-shifting to minimize power drain; a very a-typical shield for use on a Klingon ship and one that I’d seen only once before.

Reading the reports more closely, the service record of Captain Ven’Qa, commanding officer of the qul SuvwI' made it clear – this was the ship we’d encountered at Kharans II.

This was the ship that sent a group of warriors aboard and butchered my crew.

These were the ones who killed my wife.

These were the ones who killed my son.

Vengeance.